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Mother of two, living life in small-town South Africa

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Longtime Married Couple Subjected To Excruciating Romantic Weekend Getaway

The Onion

Longtime Married Couple Subjected To Excruciating ‘Romantic Weekend Getaway’

KENOSHA, WI-Sources report that longtime married couple Duane and Edna Schumacher’s weekend stay at Chicago’s FantasyLand Suites was a grueling ordeal of unwelcome interruptions to their long-established marital routine.

“Oh, for Jiminy Cricket,” Edna, 52, said Monday after returning from the trip, a 30th anniversary gift from her daughters. “Why the girls thought either one of us would find such an experience enjoyable is beyond me.”

She added: “I was planning to weed my flower bed and maybe scrub out the back sink, which is just covered in muck, but now the whole weekend’s shot.”

 

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